Monday, May 30, 2011

Keep on keepin' on.

It's been awhile since we've had a real update around here. Now that we've broken out into the world we've been keeping ourselves fairly busy. It feels so blissfully normal. We visit with friends, go grocery shopping, run errands, stroll around the neighbourhood, pop into shops, and feed our coffee addiction all with Max in tow. Sure, we still have to plan around his meal times, but now that he's eating more, faster, and less frequently it's easier to do.

Hitching a ride with Dad.

Reflux was always a big hurdle in getting us all out the door. Max would take an hour (at least) to eat, and then remain upright for 30 minutes, and often snooze afterward. By the time he was up we didn't have much time before he needed to eat again. Now that he's older and we've introduced a blended meal in place of a liquid meal he's only taking 4 feeds of milk during the day. He's taking more volume over a shorter period of time now, and doesn't need to remain upright for quite so long - which is fantastic. In fact we've done away with his reflux meds entirely. We've long suspected that they didn't work very well for him so we did a trial run without the meds and didn't notice a difference at all. That was about a month ago and his reflux has been getting better and better since. We've even charted a few spit-up-less days - something I couldn't have imagined a few months ago. We're still changing our clothes from time to time, but it's encouraging to see progress.

Max seems to be growing steadily, although we haven't had a medical appointment in well over a month to tell us just how much he's been growing. He's gaining some new folds, growing out of clothes and my back tells me he's getting heavier. While we can't weigh him ourselves, we have pulled out the measuring tape and he's officially made it to twice his birth length!  Our next doctor appointment is coming up next week so we'll know for sure how much he weighs then.

Max is head over heels about the cats.

We're looking forward to getting some feedback about his developmental progress as well. He's beginning to fall a little behind in gross motor skills, or least he's on the late side of normal (in my completely unprofessional opinion), but it's nothing I'm particularly worried about. He seems to be doing everything on his own time. I think Max is doing well for a baby who was born 3 months early and spent 6 months in the hospital. He lost out on some prime developmental time during those last 3 months in a hospital bed. Add to that the lost tummy time from his g-tube surgery, and his outright refusal to sit as it aggravated his reflux, and you're bound to get a little behind. He is clearly showing progress, however. He's finally starting to be willing to stay in a seated position and generally only topples over when he tries to reach for something or look behind him.  He's actually enjoying being on his tummy, as he can push up through his arms - although he thinks it more fun to roll over than it is to attempt crawling. He did break out some army crawling skills one day, but I think he'll need to master sitting before he'll get to the crawling game with any real commitment. He is getting pretty good at turning himself in circles though - I often find him nearly upside down after leaving him to play in his crib for a few minutes. Max is talking up a storm and amuses us with his made up and accidental real words (oats, boat, abba, daaaaaa - so close to dad!) His current new trick is blowing raspberries and clapping. He's working on 4 top teeth so we're often wading through puddles of drool and trying to keep our fingers away from Max's mouth. The top middle teeth are nearly out and Max is chewing on anything that comes near his mouth. Yes - even food.

Meal time - a messy affair.

I've mostly abandoned trying to feed Max. This isn't to say he isn't being offered food. He just seems to have inherited an "I can do it myself" attitude and really prefers to feed himself. So, I load up the spoon and let him have at it. Sure, it ends up all over his face, often in his hair, sometimes in his eyes, but it does with increasing accuracy land in his mouth. I'm not sure that he really understands that he's eating - his goal seems to be soothing his gums on the soft spoon - but food is going in his mouth, he's tasting it and he's swallowing it. Eventually he's bound to put two and two together. Today for the very first time I put the spoon in his mouth and he closed his mouth around it to take off the food. That may not seem like a big deal, but the roof of his mouth has remained fairly sensitive for him and he would almost always gag and throw up when food got stuck there. For him to take food to the roof of his mouth, move the food around his mouth, and swallow it - well, that's a big deal. It's all progress in the right direction.

Life seems pretty great these days. We're coming up on Max's first birthday and we're wondering where the year went. Nearly a week after Max's birthday we'll finally have been home longer than we were in the hospital. So much of this year has seemed a blur, and other moments stood still for what felt like an eternity. Our lives have been changed forever and enriched in ways that Max will never know. We're very much looking forward to celebrating a monumental year with our Mighty Maximilian.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

A lesson in Motherhood.

A year ago I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of the little bean growing inside me. I couldn't wait to be a Mum. Apparently that bean was listening. Little did I know that less than a month later I would be thrust into motherhood three months earlier than expected. When I said I couldn't wait, that wasn't exactly what I meant!

Those first several months of motherhood were not what I had in mind. I knew being a parent wouldn't always be easy and I was certain to face some challenges - but I had no idea what was in store for me. The last 11 months have taught me more than I had learned the 29 years prior. Being Max's Mum has taught me more than just what it means to be a parent.

I've learned how to be patient - really, truly patient. I've learned to accept that you just can't control everything. I've learned to find joy in the little things. I've learned that I'm a lot stronger than I thought I was. I've learned that I'm a lot more fragile than I'd like to admit. I've learned that I have a breaking point. I've learned that I can push myself so much further than I thought possible. I've learned that I can't do it all. I've learned how to smile so much that it hurts. I've learned the real meaning of stress and exhaustion. I've learned to be truly thankful for all that I have. I've learned what it feels like to be willing to do anything for someone you love. I've learned that my marriage really can withstand anything. Most importantly, I've learned the meaning of unwavering, undying, unconditional love.  

So, to Max - thank you for making me the mother and person that I am today.